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[At SW.A.G, in the classroom, the Danger Force kids are trying to sit on pilates balls, while Ray is watching them holding a bat. Chapa accidentally shoots a lightning bolt that almost hits Ray.]
Ray: Alright, that's enough!
[They stop.]
Bose: How'd we do?!
Chapa: [slipping off the ball] Whoops.
Ray: Poorly.
Mika: Can we practice tonight and re-take this test tomorrow?!
Ray: This wasn't even the test! I just thought it'd be fun if you guys sat bouncy for a while.
Chapa: Why don't you sit bouncy if you think it's so easy.
Ray: Nah. [shoots the balls with his laser, making them disappear] The real test is about to begin.
Bose [rising from the floor] Finally.
Mika: [also rising from the floor] Don't ever give up.
Miles: I feel duped.
Ray: Who can tell me the easiest crime to commit?
Mika: Jaywalking.
Bose: Jay-dancing.
Chapa: Stealing my phone.
Miles: White collar crime-- rarely prosecuted.
Ray: You're all wrong! Except for Miles. Now, I'm talking about a crime that's so easy it's like taking candy from a baby. SCHWOZ!
[Schwoz comes in wearing a baby outfit and holding a lollipop.]
Schwoz: I am baby. I loves me lolly. And I hope no one takes from me.
Mika: So you want us to stop you from taking candy from a baby?
Ray: Oh, not me. I'm far too good a person for that. You're stopping... [turns for a moment, then he shows that he put on a fake mustache] [in evil voice] Roy!
Miles: Roy?
Schwoz: It's Ray, but evil! And I hope he no takes me lolly!
Ray: [evil voice] Oh, Roy's takin' that lolly. Unless somebody... stops me.
Chapa: [stands in front of Ray] Get zapped! [throws a lightning bolt at Ray but it doesn't hit him]
Ray: No.
Chapa: Okay, maybe not. Maybe this one! [throws a lightning bolt to Ray but it doesn't hit him again]
Ray: Miss!
Chapa: This one! [continues to throw lightning bolts]
Ray: Miss!
Chapa: [throwing lightning bolts to Ray] You're dodging.
Ray: Miss.
Chapa: [throwing lightning bolts to Ray] Stop, stop dodging!
Ray: [evil voice] Didn't even have to dodge. Roy don't dodge.
[One of Chapa's lightning bolts bounces off the board and hits Schwoz in his eye.]
Schwoz: Aiiiiiieee! Oh!
Chapa: Dangit!
Ray: [evil voice] You failed to stop Roy. NEXT!
[Chapa returns with Mika and Miles. Bose gets in front of Ray.]
Bose: Did it get a little cloudy in here? 'Cuz I think a brainstorm's a brewin'...
Ray: [evil voice] Sick entrance line. Roy approves. Let's see how you do with the execyoosh.
[Bose moves the bat with his power with effort, the bat moves slowly.]
Ray: Kay, How's that supposed to stop Roy?
Mika: Whack him, Bose!
[Bose takes a little swing at Ray with the bat.]
Bose: Sorry guys. One more grunt and I'd have to change my pants again today.
Ray: [evil voice] Thanks for the weapon, kid. Roy played baseball in high school. Four-hundred RBI's. Coulda' gone pro, if it wasn't for Roy's dang knee.
Chapa: How deep is Roy's backstory?
Ray: [evil voice] Deeper than the seas, where Roy's a certified scuba instructor. NEXT!
Mika: Get ready to be... "blown away."
Ray: [evil voice] Unnecessary air quotes-- B minus.
Mika: Dangit! [using his power against Ray] Aaahhh!
[Mika's scream is low-pitched and doesn't affect Ray.]
Mika: Take... that.
Ray: [evil voice] Took it. Bored. NEXT!
Miles: On the contrary, there will not be a next.
Ray: [evil voice] What?
Miles: I refuse to be tested, Roy. I won't play your game. And besides, the solution will reveal itself.
Ray: [evil voice] So... you're just gonna let baby die?
Schwoz: Wait, what?!
Chapa: I thought you were just gonna take his candy.
Ray: [evil voice] What you don't know is that... the lollipop contains the very medicine that keeps baby alive.
Mika: Miles, you have to fight him! You can't just wait for every problem to solve itself.
School Room Voice: Stranger approaching. School Mode Activated.
Schwoz: Aiiiieeee! [leaves the place in a hurry]
Ray: All right, [removes the false moustache] test over!
Miles: See? The problem solved itself. Feels good to be right.
[The classroom is back to normal, Ray puts on his jacket.]
Female Voice: [from behind the door] Hello?!
[Ray opens the door and the woman turns out to be Ms. Shapen.]
Ms. Shapen: Oh. Hey, handsome. [comes in]
Ray: Ehhhhh. Can we help you?
Ms. Shapen: Depends. You know any good lookin' guys with low standards?
Mika: Wait, aren't you a teacher at Swellview Junior High?
Ms. Shapen: I was. But Swellview Junior High and I both decided that it was time to part ways.
Chapa: So you got fired.
Ms. Shapen: Bingo! Anyway, I work for the city now. Sharona Shapen, School Inspector, see? Gotta make sure every school in Swellview has a license. And according to my records... you ain't got one.
Ray: Well, can we get one?
Ms. Shapen: Maybe. But you gotta pass my test!
Mika: [getting out of her seat] I can pass your test! Anything. Give me your test, I'll pass it. [to herself] You got this.
Ms. Shapen: Not you, smarty pants!
Mika: Thank you. I like yours too.
Ms. Shapen: Yeah, I'll bet ya do. [showing the "Bucci" on her jacket] They're Bucci. This whole school needs to pass my test. You kids, the water supply, your hot teacher... I need to conduct a thorough investigation of this school right now or I'mma sssshutin' it down.
Mika: Weeee... can't take your test today because we're going on a field trip.
Ms. Shapen: Where to?
Mika: Aaaaa...
Miles: A field.
Ms. Shapen: Can I come?
Mika: Did you get your parent's signature?
Ms. Shapen: No, my parents are ashamed of me.
Mika: Awww.
Ray: All right then. [taking Ms. Shapen to the door] Well have a nice day.
Ms. Shapen: [leaving] Well, I'll be back tomorrow! And I better see some teaching. And some learning. Some Phys Ed. Some Driver's Ed. I wanna see allllll the Eds. And if I don't... I'm ssssssshuttin' it down.
[Ray closes the door.]
[Everyone is silent.]
Ray: We better find some Eds.

[THEME SONG]

[The next day, Ms. Shapen arrives at SW.A.G.]
Ray: [to the kids, opening the door to Ms. Shapen] ...and now you know everything Albert Einstein knew. [to Ms. Shapen] Oh, hello. Whatever brings you to our modest and totally real school?
Ms. Shapen: [comes in] Cool your toots, Fancy Boots. It ain't real 'til I says it's real. now let's blast some school inspection music and get this done. [turns on music]
[As the song "Wicked Smart" plays, there is a montage that passes through various scenes in which Ray, Schwoz and the kids pretend to have history, gymnastics and chemistry classes.]
Ms. Shapen: [turns off the music] Well, that's it. You all failed.
All: How?
Ms. Shapen: Failed to do anything wrong. You passed.
All: Yeah!
Ms. Shapen: [giving a certificate to Ray] Swellview Academy for the Gifted is an officially licensed school.
Ray: Nice!
Miles: Swet!
Chapa: Yeah!
Ms. Shapen: You'll get your two new students tomorrow.
Chapa: What?
Ray: Whoa, whoa, whoa... Take that and rewind it back. What two new students?
Ms. Shapen: Oh, well there's a shortage of available space at gifted schools. I got two kids been learnin' at a bus station for the last month.
Miles: Yuck.
Bose: Awesome.
Ms. Shapen: I'm moving them here tomorrow.
Ray: Well, what if I don't take them?
Ms. Shapen: Well, then I'm sssshutin' ya down!
[Shapen presses a button, then a siren sounds and four cops come in.]
Buster: You shuttin' this place down, Sharona?
Ms. Shapen: I don't know... Are we?
Ray: Fine. We'll take 'em.
Ms. Shapen: Carry me out, Buster! Whoo! See you tomorrow!
[Shapen leaves with the cops, being carried by Buster, while the music plays.]

[Later, in the Man's Nest.]
Mika: -so we find these kids' personal information, and then we fill out an application to--
Ray: Borrrrring! Schwoz, go get the memory wiper. The new kids show up, we erase their memories. Badaboom bada-
Mika: Do you ever listen?
Bose: Are you kidding me?!
Schwoz: I told you ten times! The memory wiper got destroyed when you and Kid Danger fought Drex. It's not going to "conveniently" get us out of things anymore.
[Ray groans.]
Chapa: I know how we can get rid of these kids. We get a chainsaw, and a ceiling fan, and a--
Mika: Chapa, No!
Miles: No!
Bose: I don't get it.
Ray: What's your deal? Why are you so scary?
Chapa: A boy stole my cellphone.
Ray: So buy another one!
Chapa: No! If your best friend got stolen would you just "buy another one?"
Ray: Yes! My best friend moved to Dystopia so bought four new ones!
Bose: Aww, love you man.
Ray: We'll get there.
Schwoz: Hokay, according to The Big Book Of Swellview Laws, if these new kids agree to leave the school on their own...
Ray: Then Miss Shapen and her sleeveless goons can't shut us down! [grabs the book and throws it]
Chapa: So we just make life as miserable as possible for these new kids, and they agree to leave on their own.
Ray: Good plan, Chapa.
Mika: And shockingly, not violent.
Chapa: You didn't let me finish. We find out who they love the most. And then in the middle of the night, we--
Bose: Oh, come on!
Mika: Chapa, please!
Bose: You were doing so good. Come on!

[Later, in the classroom, Ray is tying Schwoz to a chair.]
[Schwoz groans.]
Ray: Hurry up! They're coming!
Schwoz: Hey.
Bose: Ray, I found this broken chair in the basement!
Ray: Love it. Explain.
Bose: We'll make one of the new kids sit in this rusty, busted-up, thang... and we'll make the other sit on this termite stool.
Mika: What's a termite stool?
Bose: Stool fulla' termites! Give it a sit!
Mika: No!
Bose: Ehh. Probably smart.
Mika: So, I was thinking--
Bose: Not finished! When the new kids get here, I'm also gonna use my powers to make stuff float. And I'm gonna use my throat to make ghost noises like, [ghost voice] "Souuuuuuuuuup..."
Mika: Soup?
Bose: Ghosts love soup. They tell me all the time.
Ray: Good enough. Hey, where's "Scary Bradshaw"?
Bose: Chapa is hiding in the closet with a chainsaw. When we give her the cue, she's gonna jump out and scare the new kids.
Ray: Like it, love it, I want more of it. What do you got?
Miles: I plan on living with an open heart and a strong mind. And I'll remain like that until the solution presents itself.
Ray: [sighs] Who made you this way?!
Miles: The system.
Ray: I miss Henry. I miss Henry. I miss Henry... Mika!
Mika: Okay, don't get mad, but--
Ray: Yeah, but see, that always makes me mad.
Mika: But once I learn these kids names I'm gonna enter their personal information into--
Ray: A supercomputer that will eat them?
Mika: No.
Ray: Then I don't care. Next!
Mika: Okay, what are you gonna do?
Ray: I'm glad someone finally asked. It's a test of strength. Just like any other test of strength you'd see at a normal school.
Mika: No, wouldn't see that.
Miles: Where did you even go to school?
Ray: You use this hammer to make Schwoz go all the way up there to ring that bell.
Schwoz: Hello.
Mika: How is this gonna make the new kids wanna leave?
Ray: Ha-ha! You'll see...
School Room Voice: Stranger approaching.
Ray: Okay that's them. Now remember, whatever happens, we gotta be really mean to these new kids!
Bose: Right.
[Ray opens the door and there's Ms. Shapen with two kids.]
[The new kids gasp when they see the classroom.]
Miriam: Why Percy! It's our new school! I'm sure we will love it so!
Percy: Oh, we shall, Miriam. We shall finally be happy here... in our new school.
Miriam: And it smells ever so much better than the bus station.
Ms. Shapen: That's because there's a bathroom here, sweetie.
[Miriam and Percy gasp.]
Ms. Shapen: Anyway, I gotta go. It's hump day so there's free sushi at the gas station. And there's nothing like eating sushi in head to toe Bucci. Deuces! [leaves]
Ray: Uh, hello. I'm your teacher. And--
Percy: But you can't be our instructor. You're far too young and handsome.
Miriam: And your generous spirit is as clear as the kindness in your eyes.
Ray: Would you excuse us for just one moment?
Percy: Certainly.
Miriam: Take your time.
[Ray takes the Danger Force kids to the closet.]
[It is heard sounds of chainsaw. Ray, Mika, Miles and Bose scream.]
Schwoz: [to Miriam and Percy] Hello...

[In the closet, Chapa is wearing a mask and carrying a chainsaw. Ray, Mika, Miles and Bose are watching her in fear.]
Ray: Oh, god!
Chapa: Sorry, I thought you were those gunchy new kids!
Ray: Turns out they're not gunchy at all! They're sweet as molasses!
Bose: I don't know if I can soup ghost them.
Miles: Their last school didn't have a bathroom...
Mika: They've been through so much! Plus Percy winked at me and it melted my heart!
Ray: And Miriam complimented me!
Miles: Seriously, I mean no bathroom! Where have they been goin'?!
Chapa: Hey!
Ray: I mean, I am very young looking so the compliment makes sense but--
Chapa: [slaping Ray] Hey! Hey!
Ray: Ow! Stop Slapping me! I'm listening!
Chapa: We are crime fighters! We can't have a couple a' bus station biscuits sniffin' around here or we can't respond to emergency calls!
Ray: Yeah, I guess you're right.
Miles: True.
Chapa: I don't care how many fake compliments they give us.
Ray: How dare you.
Chapa: Or how many fake winks we get!
Mika: They were real!
Ray: She's so mean.
[Chapa makes a gesture to slap Ray, Ray gets scared.]
Mika: Hey, hey. I have a non-violent plan that just requires a little bitta paperwork.
[Schwoz falls off the roof scaring everyone.]
Schwoz: Aiiiieee!
Miles: Where'd you come from?
Schwoz: We've already missed three emergency calls since those kids got here!
[Everyone groans in frustration.]
Chapa: See?! Swellview needs us. So get out there, be mean to those new kids and send them back to the bus station! Who's with me?
[Schwoz is the only one who raises his hand. Chapa makes a threatening gesture.]
Ray: Ahhh! We're with you!
Mika: With you!
Miles: Did they just use a bucket?
[Mika, Miles, Bose and Schwoz leave.]
Ray: [to Chapa] Hey listen, I let those slaps go last time but next time--
[Chapa slaps Ray.]
Ray: Ahhh! I'll see you out there.
[Ray leaves, Chapa puts on her mask.]

[In the classroom, Ray's teaching a class.]
Ray: What is math? Can you touch it? Can you hold it in your hand? If you shake it, would it rattle? Over the next forty-five minutes, we're gonna to find out, together, the answer to all these questions, and more... and I think along the way, we're gonna have a little bit of fun.
[Chapa, with the mask on, throws lightning bolts at Miriam and Percy.]
Percy: Ahhhh!
Miriam: Good Heavens! My termite bench just gave me quite a shock!
Chapa: Bet it hurt, right?
Percy: Indeed it did.
Miriam: But you know, Percy, that brief pain made me grateful for all the times I'm not in pain.
Percy: Quite so. It seems the lessons at this school go beyond what can be learned from books alone.
Ray: What.
Miriam: May I also say, I love your festive mask!
Chapa: Yeah, I love yours too-- look a floating pencil!
Ray: Oh, no, this place is haunted!
Bose: [using his power to float the pencil] [ghost voice] Souuuuuuuuup...
Miriam: Spirits? Can you hear us? Tell Princess Diana that our country misses her so!
Percy: And we hope she's having all the soup her heart desires.
Miles: I'm sorry, I can't get over this-- when you were at the bus station, where did you go to the bathroom?!
Ray: Alright, that's it test of strength. [to Percy] You. "Benedict Cumberbutt". Get up here.
Percy: Right away, sir.
Ray: Take this hammer. Hit that and try to get Professor Schwoz to ring the bell.
Schwoz: Hello.
Percy: I shall try my level best.
[Ray makes everyone go away a little bit.]
Mika: [to Ray] How is this supposed to make them want to leave?
Ray: See the head on that hammer? I swapped it out with a Bolivian Boom Stone. [giggles]
Mika: What do those do?
Ray: They go boom.
Percy: [holding the hammer] For the Princess! [hammers]
[There is an explosion that throws Percy up, he hits the ceiling and falls to the floor.]
Miriam: My brother!
Schwoz: My knitting!
Percy: [rising from the ground] It's okay! I've always wanted to fly!
[Mika groans.]
Ray: Daaaahh!

[Later, in the Man's Nest, Schwoz is sleeping upside down, the Danger Force kids and Ray arrive in the tube in their superheroe suits.]
ShoutOut: I'm so tired. [yawns her super-scream]
Schwoz: [falls to the floor] Aaiiiee! Oh!
ShoutOut: Sorry.
[AWOL yawns and uses his power by accident, appearing next to ShoutOut.]
Schwoz: Where have you beens all night?
Brainstorm: Fighting crime.
[Captain Man mutters gibberish.]
Volt: We had to take care of all the emergencies we missed during the day when Percy and Miriam were here.
Schwoz: Well, ten more emergencies came in while you were gone.
[They all groan.]
Captain Man: [angry gibberish] [leaves]
Brainstorm: What's wrong with Ray?
Schwoz: Oh, no...
ShoutOut: Is that a good "Oh, no"?
Schwoz: Oh, no, no. It's a bad one. Did no one put Ray down for a nap last night?
AWOL: Were we supposed to?
Schwoz: Yes! If Ray doesn't get enough sleep, he turns bad until he can sleep again.
ShoutOut: Like a good bad?
Schwoz: Remember "Roy" who wanted to take candy from that handsome baby?
Volt: I remember Roy.
AWOL: Yeah, he was like Ray, but evil.
Schwoz: That's what happens to Ray if he doesn't get enough sleep.
Captain Man: [coming in with a jar in his hand] You know something now, Ch-Chapa? You got-- laugh at yourself! Schwoz! Do you still keep your flesh eating bacteria in this old mayonnaise jar?
ShoutOut: Your what?
[Captain Man opens the jar.]
Bacteria: [creepy voice] Flesssshhhhhh...
[They gets scared.]
ShoutOut: Ahh!
Captain Man: Answered my own question.
ShoutOut: Whaaaaaat?
AWOL: Mmm-mmm.
Captain Man: Imma go throw it on those kids.
ShoutOut: No, Roy-- I mean, Ray-- you shouldn't do that!
Captain Man: Why not?
Schwoz: Because it might get on you?
Captain Man: I'm indestructible. And so tired.
Schwoz: But it still might eat off all of your hair!
Bacteria: [creepy voice] Hairrrrrrrr...
Captain Man: [leaving] Shut up, bacteria, leave me alone, I'm so handsome...
[Schwoz follows Captain Man.]
ShoutOut: Okay-- new problem: we can't let Ray throw that flesh-eating bacteria on Percy and Miriam.
AWOL: Agreed.
Volt: You're right. Step one-- we stay awake. If we fall asleep we can't protect Percy and Miriam.
AWOL: We're fine. School starts in ten minutes.
ShoutOut: Good. We can make it ten minutes.
Brainstorm: Yeah, I'm not tired at all.
[The scene is cut to the classroom, where everyone is sleeping on their desks.]
Percy: Hello, schoolmates?
Miriam: Oh, Percy! What's wrong with them?
Mika: [waking up] I'm awake!
Chapa: [also waking up] What?
Percy: Is there something wrong?
Mika: Yes. You guys gotta get outta here.
Miriam: We would never abandon you in a time of need.
Percy: No. SW.A.G. for life, I say.
Miriam: And so say I!
[All groan in frustration.]
Schwoz: [comes in] Has anyone seen Ray?
Chapa: I thought he was with you!
Schwoz: Yah... he's not.
Mika: Okay, out the door, let's go, let's go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go...
[They open the door and meet Ray.]
Ray: Cheeeeeeeeerio, kiddies! Who's hungry for MAYONNAISE?! [shows the mayonnaise jar]
[The kids scream, they close the door.]
Mika: S'go, s'go, s'go, s'go...
Bose: [to Miriam and Percy] Into the closet, Canadians!
Percy: Is there something wrong with teacher?!
Chapa: Yes! Just don't come out until we tell you!
[They hide the kids in the closet.]
Ray: [opens the door] Where are those Brits? I gotta get rid of those kids.
Bose: Ray, you need sleep.
Ray: Which I'll never get as long as they're here!
Miles: Ray. You got two options. Either you go to bed. Or we're going to put you to bed.
Ray: Third option-- spin move! [Miles tries to catch him but doesn't succeed, Chapa throws a lightning bolt at him] Daaah!
Miles: Next stop-- the Man's Nest. [teleports with Ray]
[They appear in the classroom.]
Miles: Oh, c'mon, not even out of the room?!
Ray: LEMME AT THOSE KIDS!
[Bose uses his power to lift the mayonnaise jar.]
Ray: [trying to reach the jar] Hey. Hey!
Mika: [super-screams]
[Bose drops the jar and falls on Ray's head, breaking.]
Ray: [with the bacteria in his hair] AHHHHHH! [leaves]
Miriam: [coming out of the closet with Percy] Friends! We can stay idle no longer! Are you okay?
Ms. Shapen: [comes in] Hello?! What's going on in there?!
Bose: Uh... normal school stuff?
Ms. Shapen: Ah-ha! There's my little British bake-offs. You're coming with me.
Percy: What's this?
Miriam: Whatever for?
Ms. Shapen: I got a new school for ya'.
Percy: We will never leave our friends!
Miriam: SW.A.G. forever, I say!
Percy: And so say I!
Ms. Shapen: Yeah, you're going to forget about these dopes in like two seconds when the horsedrawn carriage gets here.
Ray: [desperately, hairless] Ahhhh! Ahhhhh! My hair, my beautiful hair! Ahhh! It burns! Oh, god it burns! [sits in a wheelchair and rolls out]
Ms. Shapen: What's his problem?
Chapa: He just needs a nap-- what's this about a horse-drawn carriage?
Ms. Shapen: Some billionaire in Bordertown runs a school for poor, gifted English kids.
Mika: Oh, does he?
Ms. Shapen: Yeah, it's a lot of paperwork to apply. I don't know how you did it.
Mika: Me neither! It's almost like someone else filled out their applications for them.
Ms. Shapen: Yeah, whatever. Anyway, each kid gets a million bucks and a banger of an education. Much better than this dump.
Chapa: Hey!
Ms. Shapen: What kind of gifted school is run by an old bald guy in a wheelchair?
Ray: [entering sitting in the wheelchair] I am not old!
Ms. Shapen: Pipe down, Mr. Clean. [pushes Ray]
[It is heard that the wheelchair crashed.]
Ray: Oh, my hair!
Ms. Shapen: This school can keep its license, but I'm never sending any other students here again. Now come on, Beans and Toast. Time to Brexit. [leaves]
Percy: [to the kids] We will never forget you!
Miriam: SW.A.G forever, I say!
Percy: And so say I.
[Percy and Miriam leave.]
Bose: Can't believe Miles was right.
Mika: About what?
Bose: The solution revealed itself.
Mika: What?
Chapa: Hey, yeah. It did.
Miles: The universe will provide.
Mika: Mika provides. I filled out their applications while everyone else wasn't paying any attention to me!
[Miles, Chapa and Bose ignore Mika and go to the closet.]
Mika: Hello? Hello?! I exist! [goes with them]

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